Cast your cares......

Toss. Turn.. Toss. Turn
My normal night in review. Sleeping to me is like going into the ring with Mike Tyson , not even in his "prime", but like as he is now, and thinking I have a chance in combating this MASSIVE obstruction. Not so Much. On a good night, I m able to "hold my own" by "rope- a doping" at the most maybe 4 hours. Then I back up. So, as probably 90% of Americans, I use tranquilizers to aid in the process of sleep. Hey, I gotta win the fight the best way I know how. However, in the indulgence of, I tend to awaken the next morning groggy and irritable so it just puts me back at square one. This morning however, rising at 3am, I felt different. I felt refreshed, I felt called.
As I type this, keep in mind that it is ONLY 5:45am. and unfulfilled with the normality of flipping through channels of infomercials, I shut the t.v off. Shielding the light of the laptop from my bedtime "companion" with a pillow, she still tosses and turns.. and snores.. so I'm gonna make this quick.
As I think about some of the things that come into our lives that are viewed as "surprises": People, financial woes, troubles at work, they are never "surprises" to God. However, for me, this revelation comes costly. after receiving a text from my financial institution advising me of a misc debit to my account today.  I'm 24, I forgot a charge, so what.. sounds normal right?? Contrary. Being such the "tightwad" I am, I manage money  tighter than the U.S Mint. And anyway, never having signed up for any direct payment draft, with this "merchant", this left me scratching my head (after a few "F" bombs were released of course). So back to my point. I with my own eyes could not for-see this issue. It was not a "Oversight". I was wrongfully charged. Victimized someone say..wait its election season right.. yeah. *taps chin* "The MAN" trying to catch me slipping, distract my mind from voting (lol,) However, in my latter chain of reasoning, this is my point, just like we cannot for-see car woes, layoffs at work, sick relatives, we should not forget God is in Control, and his mistake tally card is infinity to NONE. HE makes no errors. (unlike the boys in Silver and Blue- stupid Cowboys)
Anyway, after that text was sent the second thing I did, outside of rant and rave, I looked online at my bank statement, sure enough... A pending charge I dont even owe.  That was validation to the text. Now it was layed out in front of my eyes, time, date, merchant, amount. Now what?
After the validation, my defenses kick in, where are all my receipts, was there any phone calls, did I actually owe the money? Now I am in "analytical" mode. Out of denial, out of irrationalness,  and into detective. Women are already equipped with "Go-Go Gadget" capabilities, so I'm Prosecuting and defending at the same time in my mind. Did I stop to pray. Probably not.
I went to sleep with a pouted out lip and a unsettling conscious, blaming "The MAN" for again, conspiring some way to jip us hardworking individuals. But I didn't pray. I didn't ask God to do anything, It didn't reach me through my anger to do so. In the back of my conscious the urge was there to do so, but whats an urge without action? Oh, I know, a thought. I was so instilled in my own "plans", I didn't even think. Not praying in the middle of confusion is the equivalent of having a translator in a foreign land, but "shushing" them while they try to protect you from harm.
What a waste of power huh? Having the ability to ask the ONE who has everything to help with the smallest things is ignorant. Is God a bank, and Jesus the teller? No. We must come to HIM not only when we need, but to ween our lives in SYNC with His plans. (Theres that word again). But thats another blog.
Jesus died not only so we could live, but live abundantly, through him. Yet here I am living poor through me. Ha! When all I had to do was give the problem to him, and he would do JUST what he said. His word never returns void. Apparently mine returns as an "Overdraft". How many of us are overdrawn? How many of us are tired of "surprises" popping" up. Well, lemme tell you, nothing in this life is "Coincidental" with an Omnipotent God. You think he turns HIS back when our car stops on the freeway? You think he's keeping watch over the "Joneses" when were getting a pink slip? Or looking in China when our child is suddenly ill. No. God is directing us. God is setting us into positions that by our own "GPS" has gotten us off track. (Theres a "G" in front for a reason...God!!) God's Positioning System. How many of us are riding with it?

"Cast your cares upon God..."
"Let not your heart be troubled..."
"Trouble doesn't last always..."
"He will Renew your strength..."

I dont know about you, but without the promise of waking up tomorrow, Im gonna take control over what I prioritize the night before. I will Pray. In saying this, I was awakened at 3:00am this morning for no other reason besides this. God had a message for me, waiting on me with a special invitation, and I truly believed He whispered to my heart this morning and wanted me to share this. Being on the hunt for my purpose will involve helping others, it has to. Whoever comes along for the ride will know Ill forever be chasing after God. What am I if not a vessel for the Lord. I encourage you to search for your purpose.On your travels, God will take care of the excess baggage.
Top of the Morning to ya.
God Bless.

Introducing....

It hasn't been until the last 5 months that I have constantly, consecutively woke up with the same thought on my mind. What can I do today to help someone. This thought never seems to escape me, even when theres times, I cannot find relief for myself. Id be at my lowest, as my dad would say, without a pot to piss in, or a window to throw it out of.  However, this does not stop my drive from believing to KNOWING, that I have a greater work to do. The main thing that constantly combats my thoughts in times of recess are about my purpose. The 5 W's take a permanent dwelling in my cognition to reach a declaration. "Who (do I help), What  (makes me qualified), When (do I have time to commit to something ELSE), Where (will I get help to do these things), Why (is it on my heart so badly to act). And then there's "How" How can I finance the great ideas I have, how do I reach out to help others when my heart is not totally healed itself??

If you decide to follow my journey, my hunt,my drive to finding my purpose you will see my highs my lows, and in turn you will see my growth. You will constantly see me question myself and my abilities, prime example above, because this is so strongly placed on my heart, there are no limits I wont taunt to get to this ultimate goal. The one question I can answer with leisurely is  the"Why". Why? Because when God speaks to my heart, it is what he whispers to me. It is what he has been whispering to us all through Matt 28:19. Go ye therefore, and teach all nations...

As I gain assurance, confirmation, and healing, I am positive the hunt I am after will become ever present.

Stick along for the ride.